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The Last Day

Yesterday was my last day at my job working for the IT department of the business college at UWP.

It was vaguely poignant; I worked there for two and a half years, and it was a great job (wage excluded).  I didn’t really feel anything when I left my tutoring job.  Although I like the job well enough, I didn’t really have the chance to forge relationships with my boss or clients.  At OIT, though, my bosses and co-workers really became like friends.  They were the people who helped me move from my last apartment, we’ve watched movies together, played games together, and gone out to eat countless times.

Anyway, since it was my last day, they told me to pick a restaurant to go out to.  I chose our favorite haunt, Fiesta Cancun.  This is the only restaurant in town that I get special service in.  My co-workers and I are pretty regular customers and the staff often play around with us, bring us special salsa that’s not on the menu, or sit down and chat with us a while.  As expected, when we sat down, Tom and Andy got wicked grins on their faces and did something that they had been threatening to do for my last day for over a year - namely they ordered the Monstroso-size Margarita for me, which is a solid 46 ounces already, with Tom giving instructions in Spanish to use extra tequila.  Now let me tell you, when they bring that glass out to you, it’s like the opening scene from Star Wars in which the star destroyer flies in overhead and blocks out all the stars in the sky.  The bosses cackled with glee, telling me that they weren’t leaving until I finished the thing.  Now the people reading this blog probably know that I’m someone who drinks pretty rarely, but that I’m a huge sucker for any sort of ceremony or rite of passage.  Thus I dutifully sucked away at red icy mountain, each swallow making an imperceptibly small dent in its mass.

It might be pertinent to mention that I had been awake for over 24 hours at this time, and when I stay up all night I lose my ability to tell whether my stomach is empty or full.  Between the drink and my meal, I’m probably lucky nothing ruptured.  Finally, I was fit to burst but nearing the finish, when Erbin, one of the waiter came by and someone mentioned to him that it was my last day.  Moments later, there was a triple shot of tequila, complete with salt and lime (though thankfully sans-worm) before me, compliments of the house.  Making as good a show as I could (it was a kind gesture after all), I downed what there was of both drinks and passed my final test with flames of glory and a mild stomach ache.  I was proud to demonstrate my mastery of my own equilibrium, balancing on one foot and reciting the alphabet backwards (yes, I do know it).  Recalling a famous story of Tom being unable to finish a 44-oz margarita, despite being roughly 1.7 times my body weight, I inquired as to how it felt to be owned by a guy who is 5′8″.  Our manly rituals concluded, we headed back to the office.

Overflowing with food and drink and running without sleep, I was fit for just about nothing upon our return, but Fate, having been informed of the prestigious occasion, smiled radiantly upon us.  The owner of the movie theater called - it seems his computer system was acting up, and “would we like to come fix it in exchange for seeing a movie and some free passes?”  This event consisted of Tom and Andy crawling around with ethernet cables while Nik and I played Area 51 on the arcade machine.  We then settled in to watch Rush Hour 3 (trust the Rotten Tomatoes reviews), which rounded out the day.  At the end, I offered them a handshake and my compliments that “it was a pleasure working with you.”  From the door, Tom watched me walk away, and Nik kindly gave me a ride home…….into the sunset.  Then I slept for 16 hours.
Thus the capstone was placed upon this Epic Saga.

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